BACK TO SCHOOL, BACK TO STRESS

The first week of resumption is like a romantic relationship, full of hope, promises and lies. Everyone acts brand new, the campus looks alive and for 5 business days, you pretend to have your life together. But deep down, you know it’s just a calm before the storm.

You know that brief moment in life when you think things are finally coming together, yeah, that’s what the first week of resumption feels like. For a few days every student becomes a motivational speaker, a fashion influencer and a rebranded version of themselves.

With everyone saying, “New semester, new me”, spoiler alert, nothing really changes. But oh, what a delusion it is.

The grand return to suffering

You arrive on campus like a celebrity coming back from tour. Bags packed, confidence high, playlist ready, you even post “Back to grind” on your status because you’re trying to manifest discipline. But the grind is looking at you like “you again?”.

By the time you get to the hostel, reality starts whispering, the room is dusty, the fan is slow, you spend half the day cleaning without the usual promise of a homemade lunch, half the day regretting your decisions and the remaining wondering why your bed smells like 2018 memories. But you keep smiling regardless, at least there’s no more washing plates and running unnecessary errands.

 Fashion parade madness

Everybody suddenly turns into a fashion icon. You will see girls wearing heels to 8am lectures, walking like they are on a runway sponsored by student loans. And for the boys? They will dress corporate pretending to be future CEOs.

The drip is insane, fresh sneakers, new hairstyles and enough perfumes to start a gas leak, you’d think the HOD is giving prices for best dressed. But the funniest part? By the second week these same fashionistas will start wearing one hoodie for 4 days, scarf will become a personality trait and the wig will retire with honour.

Lecture Reunion

Ah yes, the reunion of chaos. That moment you enter the lecture hall and start seeing familiar faces you prayed never to see again. Your classmates all look somehow. Some have added weight, some lost weight and some look like they fought life and lost. Then there’s that lecturer who walks in with vengeance, no greetings, no smile just straight to marking attendance first. “Sir please, we haven’t even recovered from transport fare yet”. You pretend to take note, handwriting rusty from prolonged lack of use, while secretly trying to remember if you still know how to read. Half of the class is already dozing off, the other half is whispering “Omo, I thought this man retired”.

The Group Chat Comeback

By midweek, the class group suddenly resurrects. People start asking “who knows the timetable?”, “is it true that test will start next week?”.

There’s always that course rep who turns into an event planner, dropping messages like “Good morning scholars, attendance is important this semester, please let’s be serious”. You will read it while eating bread and akara and say Amen, knowing fully well you won’t attend the class tomorrow.

Someone will post the timetable and that’s where the heartbreak begins. 7am classes? Back-to-back lectures? That’s no timetable, that’s torture in form of a spreadsheet, but you don’t have a choice unless you decide to be unserious, which will eventually end up in tears.

Fake Productivity

This is the part where the real acting starts. You will wake up early, iron your clothes, carry two textbooks for aesthetics, and walk around campus like you have a purpose, meanwhile you’re just looking for where to charge your phone.

You will post a selfie with caption with the caption “Focused”, but deep down, your brain is buffering. You attend classes you don’t understand, smile at lecturers you secretly fear and try to look serious even when your pen isn’t working.

The Budgeting Delusion

First week of resumption is when student act like financial advisor. You will set a budget for yourself, telling yourself “No unnecessary spending”, but by evening you’ve already spent ten thousand naira on shawarma, transport and one suspicious welcome back party. You suddenly turn to a math teacher “if I trek to class for two weeks, maybe I can afford garri and data”.

You will start texting your parents, “Good evening, sir, hope work was fine” then you’d sneak in, “By the way, they just increased school fees sir” even if they didn’t.

The Truth about the First week

Let’s face it, the first week of resumption is just a trailer The real movie starts when assignment and project deadlines begin flying like mosquitoes. For now, everyone is pretending, laughing and smiling through struggles.

But that’s what makes it beautiful. We all know we’re broke, tired and confused but we still find ways to laugh. We create memes, we gist, we complain and we cope, because laughter is the only free therapy we can afford. So, if you’re reading this while your lecturer is shouting or while your allowance is still processing, just breathe. You’re not alone, we’re all in this together.

And if there’s one thing you should learn, life doesn’t care about your new semester resolution. You can buy all the notebooks, download all the PDFs and still end up copying assignments at 2am from someone who also doesn’t know what they are doing. But that’s okay. Nobody has it all figured out. The trick is to balance your stress with small joy and laugh at the chaos, find memes that describe your pain and remember failure is temporary, but embarrassment is forever. So at least fail with style and make sure you buckle down and pass with great achievements.

Try to eat properly, even if it’s just noodles and vibes. Attend enough classes to recognize your lecturers, make friend with who shares note and share struggles and please sleep, you can’t pour from an empty cup especially not tears.

At the end of the day, resumption week will fade, the stress becomes normal again, and you will still survive. It’s the same old hustle.

Stay jiggy, Stay Fresh, Stay Real.